Australian Shephoarder

One more "Remembering Mom" Story -- but this one is horrid.

So, around Labor Day, 2008 we found out the devastating news: mom had cancer, really bad cancer & probably not long to live. But you never give up hope. There's always that chance things could get better...

Nevertheless, one weekend shortly after the diagnosis, while Mom was still feeling well enough to socialize, her only living cousin came for a visit from Memphis.

We decided to go to a nearby restaurant where they served my mom's favorite dish, bread pudding. We went to the Famous Dave's on 71st Street in Tulsa. We had a group of eight on a Sunday afternoon. The photo above is my mother, the day before the despicable "Famous Dave's Incident.

We were seated and placed our order and were about to receive our meal when Mom's hip began hurting from sitting in the wooden chair. Her hip was initially the spot in which the cancer surfaced. It was very painful.

I mentioned this to the waitress who promptly grabbed a cushion from the restaurant's bar area -- only to be caught and stopped by the manager. The manager told her she could not remove the cushion because it had to stay in the bar area. We explained about mom's cancer and how the hard wooden seat on the chair was painful to her hip. To no avail. The manager would not let the waitress remove the cushion from the bar area and allow my mother to use it. I kid you not. On a Sunday afternoon.

This "manager" had no common sense of decency. Refused an 80+ year old woman a cushion -- a bit of comfort. Oh, no, corporate policy ruled over a customer's welfare. The restaurant wasn't even allowed to serve alcohol on Sunday afternoons. Had we not just received our meal, we would have left. Instead, we were forced to crowd around an area where a window seat (with a cushion) was available.

It was terrible experience, one that leaves me dumbfounded to this day.  I felt sorry for the waitress whose hands were tied: defy management and lose her job or act like a human.

I will never grace the doorstep of another Famous Dave's. I wrote two letters and they never even replied. I hope their PR department picks up on this post.

Remembering Mom

It's been a year now since I lost my mother. We were very close for over 45 years.

She was a remarkable person who spent her energy on staying behind the scenes and supporting others. She shunned the spotlight while working her fingers to the bone.

Growing up, I was one of the few kids whose mom worked full time outside the home. My mother's father died when she was 13 and she started to work to help support her mother. She worked in a dress shop -- Greene's -- in downtown Shawnee, OK, until she met my father.

Then she went to work for him, first in his father's drug store and then in his own pharmacy in Altus, OK.

So she was always the support. The backbone. The kind of worker who does SO much that is taken for granted, you never miss them until they are gone.

I don't miss her for what she did, though. I miss her because she was my closest friend for years. We had a lot in common -- outside of family ties. We were both very much interested in the same things.

She was so unselfish and kind -- she always thought of others. I miss her.

Anniversary

The first anniversary of my mother's death is in 3 days. I am resolving that she would NOT be pleased if I were sad or dwelling on the event.

It is also my sister's birthday which makes it a day I cannot forget. I wonder if her birthday will ever be happy, remembering it's also the day she lost her mother.

Mom and I were very close; closer than normal, I think. We had a lot of time together & for that I am thankful. I miss her terribly.